By Joanne A.
The difference between Senior isolation and loneliness.
One needs someone else to help, the other you can help yourself.
Have you ever been isolated? By that I mean aside from a week away from the hustle and bustle of daily life, have you ever spent weeks, or months cut off from everyone?
In many cultures and species including our own, isolation is considered a form of punishment. Criminals considered a danger to others are put in solitary. Soldiers or political offenders singled out for special deprivation are put in isolation. Even horses punish misbehaving herd members by isolating them. However unlike loneliness, isolation is a more complex problem and more difficult to deal with.
Isolation moves in when physical and mental illnesses like dementia and hoarding have not been diagnosed or addressed. That’s when caregivers and yes, neighbours, need to intervene. Often individuals cannot help themselves, and living in isolation can lead to poor diet, poor hygiene and actual life threatening illnesses.
The first step is as easy as clicking on “Services for Seniors” on this website. Tons of resources will show up that will be of amazing help for you in handling or addressing this problem. Use them. They will help you feel less worried and less burdened and you may make a friend in the process.
Loneliness is something else. And again some of it is caused by the events of growing older. Families move away. Friends die and with greater frequency as the years pass. Sometimes our mobility is restricted. Sometimes we are no longer able to drive our cars.
Limited financial resources can be an issue too. And language. When we’ve been able to speak our mother tongue for years and years surrounded by our support group and that support group is no longer there we are hesitant to speak up in an unfamiliar one. Perhaps, too, we’ve never learned to read it.
But loneliness, that unwelcome companion of isolation doesn’t have to be your friend if you reach out. I know, I know you are thinking that takes energy and time but if you don’t want loneliness to be your best friend, isn’t it worth it?
Start with this website. Click on Things to Do and Senior Discounts. They’ll list lots of things to do and see, often with a discount. Maybe there’ll be activities you just didn’t know about that sound interesting.
It’s just a beginning but you’ve made the first step and there are lots more. Visit your local library. You’ll find lots of books to fill the hours and activities designed for you to put on your calendar. Maybe there’s a movie you’ve wanted to see that you can take home.
Often a community centre is located right in the same building as your local library or very close by. They too, have a lot of activities just for older adults – like special swimming sessions or yoga or gentle exercise all created to help keep you moving and healthy. Investigate.
Even if your friends are far away, are in ill health or have limited mobility, make yourself a cup of coffee or tea and call them. Go down memory lane and share your experiences. Both of you will have a good time.
And then there’s the gift of technology. You’ve got the time to learn about how it works. Learning centres have classes to help you discover a world many older adults have yet to experience. Just think, you can do your banking, shop and get what you buy delivered. You can play games. You can send and receive messages. You can even see someone while you talk to them on FaceTime. It’s a whole new friendly world.
One last, old-fashioned thought: Sit on your porch, in the reception room of your building or, as some older men I know do, open your garage door and sit inside. You’ll be surprised how many passers-by will open a conversation with you. If they are regulars, they’ll talk to you again. And Bingo! Pretty soon you’ve connected with someone.
Yes, isolation and loneliness CAN be constant companions as we grow older, but they don’t HAVE to be.
Reach out and you’ll find your calendar is full of friends and fun with loneliness nowhere to be found.
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